As the sun sets on the tumultuous landscape of life, often women over 50 find themselves standing at the crossroads of memory and longing. Their hearts bear the weight of years, etched with both joy and sorrow. But woven into the fabric of their existence lies a silent ache—the trauma of relationships that left indelible marks on their souls.

For some, love arrived like a tempest, sweeping them off their feet. The dance was wild and intoxicating—a symphony of highs and lows. Yet, when the storm subsided, they were left with a heart battered by unpredictability. Chaos became their norm, and they learned to distrust calm waters. Peace felt foreign, and they waited for the next shoe to drop. Relationships became a testing ground, where they provoked storms to validate their existence.

Dichotomous Despair

All-or-nothing thinking, a relic from childhood trauma, cast shadows over their hearts. They categorized love as either blissful or treacherous—no middle ground. The absolutes they accepted as truth—about themselves, about others—became the lens through which they viewed love. The conflict triggered these distorted views, eroding self-worth and straining relationships. Dichotomies held them captive, whispering that they were either wholly loved or utterly abandoned.

The Saboteur Within

When love dared to be kind, vulnerability stirred ancient fears. Unworthiness gnawed at their core. So, they sabotaged. Healthy relationships became fragile glass sculptures, shattered by their trembling hands. They feared rejection, yet their actions invited it. The saboteur whispered, “You don’t deserve this.” And so, they pushed away love, leaving behind shards of what could have been.

Signs Carved in the Heart

Intense Fear and Rage

The former partner’s ghost haunts their nights. Rage simmers beneath their skin, a fire fueled by betrayal and loss. They yearn for closure, but the past remains an open wound.

Intrusive Images

The mind replays scenes of abuse—the cruel words, the clenched fists. These images, once foreign, now etch themselves into their consciousness.

Weight Fluctuations

Their bodies bear witness to the emotional turmoil. Weight shifts like tides, a reflection of the storm within.

Restlessness and Anxiety

Sleep eludes them. Restlessness prowls their nights, anxiety gnawing at their edges.

Hypervigilance

They scan every word, every gesture, for signs of impending hurt. Trust is a fragile thread, easily snapped.

The Loneliness of Self-Isolation

They build walls and retreat into solitude. The world feels unsafe, and they seek refuge within their hearts.

Broken Social Bonds

Once surrounded by friends, they now stand alone. Trust shattered, and they drifted away from the warmth of companionship.

Healing the Fragments

Acknowledgment

The first step is to recognize the trauma—the scars etched into their souls. It’s not their fault; they were wounded. The echoes of pain are real, but they need not define their future.

Compassion

They must cradle their hearts gently, as one would hold a fragile bird. Compassion is the balm that soothes old wounds.

Connection

Seeking solace in shared stories, they find kinship. Others have walked this path, and healing lies in the community.

Reclaiming Love

Love is not chaos; it’s the quiet sunrise after the storm. They deserve tenderness, and kindness—the love they once feared.

To the women over 50 who carry relationship trauma, know this: You are not alone. Your heart, though scarred, still beats with hope. Healing awaits—a mosaic of broken pieces coming together to form a new dawn.

Remember, dear soul, you are worthy of love.

The Silent Echoes of Love’s Chains

In the twilight of life, when the sun casts long shadows, women over 50 find themselves ensnared in relationships that defy reason. These bonds, frayed and worn, cling to their hearts like ivy on ancient walls. Why, you ask? Ah, let me weave the threads of emotion into this tapestry of longing.

Satisfaction in the Shadows

She gazes at the fading sunset, her hands tracing the contours of memories etched into her skin. The years have taught her to find solace in the unsatisfactory—the love that falls short, yet somehow fills the hollows. Her heart, a seasoned traveler, knows the terrain of disappointment. Low expectations become her refuge, and she clings to the familiar ache. For those with scars, love’s mediocrity feels like home.

The Shifting Sands of Priorities

His laughter echoes in her dreams, a melody she once danced to. She wears rose-tinted glasses, crafted from moments of tenderness. The flaws blur, and she clings to the fragments of his generosity—the way he held her hand during storms, the warmth of shared secrets. Priorities shift; she values kindness over passion and forgiveness over fireworks. In this dance of illusions, she pirouettes on the edge of heartbreak.

The Trauma That Whispers

Her past is a haunted gallery, each frame capturing pain. Childhood wounds, like dormant volcanoes, erupt in her choices. Complex trauma, a silent conductor, orchestrates her steps. Abuse—physical, emotional, or both—becomes her twisted lullaby. The neurochemistry of her brain dances to adrenaline, oxytocin, and cortisol. Trauma bonds her to the familiar ache, whispering, “This is love.”

The Fear of Emptiness

She fears the void, the hollow space where love once bloomed. Better the devil she knows than the abyss of solitude. She clings to him, even as he chips away at her spirit. The fear of being unworthy gnaws at her core. She believes no one better will ever come along. So, she stays, stitching her heart with threads of denial.

The Art of Brokenness

Her heart is a mosaic of fractures, each shard a testament to resilience. She stays because leaving feels like shattering the fragile glass of hope. The world outside is vast, but within these walls, she knows the contours of pain. She becomes an architect of her prison, the jailer, and the jailed.

The Echo of Unfinished Stories

Their love is a half-written novel, pages yellowed by time. She clings to the unwritten chapters, hoping for redemption. Perhaps he’ll change, perhaps she’ll heal. But the ink dries, and the story remains suspended—a bridge to nowhere.

To the women who linger in love’s twilight, I offer this: You are not alone. Your heart, though scarred, still beats with hope. Perhaps one day, you’ll find the courage to rewrite your story—a tale of liberation, where love no longer shackles but sets you free.

Remember, dear soul, you deserve more than echoes.

Emotional abuse can be insidious, leaving invisible scars on the soul. Here are some tell-tale signs that you might be experiencing emotional abuse:

Humiliation, Negating, and Criticizing:

Name-calling and derogatory nicknames that undermine your self-esteem.

Character assassination using words like “always” to belittle you.

Yelling, screaming, and swearing make you feel small and insignificant.

Patronizing comments that belittle your abilities.

Public embarrassment through fights or sharing your secrets.

Dismissiveness is when you share something important.

Insults about your appearance that erode your confidence.

Threats and Intimidation:

Threats of harm to you or your loved ones.

Stalking or monitoring your movements.

Gaslighting, where they manipulate your perception of reality.

Isolation and Control:

Isolating you from friends, family, and support networks.

Controlling your actions, decisions, and freedom.

Unpredictable Mood Swings:

Extreme mood shifts that keep you on edge.

Walking on eggshells, fearing their reactions.

Withholding Affection and Love:

Emotional withholding, leaving you starved for love and validation.

Conditional love, where affection depends on compliance.

Blaming You for Everything:

Shifting blame onto you, by making you feel responsible for their behavior.

Guilt-tripping and making you doubt your worth.

Remember, you deserve respect, kindness, and safety. Seek support, confide in someone you trust, and consider professional help if you’re experiencing emotional abuse.

Hedge Witchcraft and Relational Trauma Healing: A Journey of Reclamation

In the quiet corners of existence, where the veil between worlds grows thin, hedge witches tread softly. They are the keepers of ancient wisdom, the whisperers of the wind, and the healers of both body and soul. But what connection lies between their craft and the mending of relational trauma? Let us step into the dappled sunlight of the hedge and explore.

The Essence of Hedge Witchcraft

Beyond the Hedgerow

Hedge witchery is an homage to the wise women of old—the ones who dwelled on the outskirts of villages, beyond the protective hedgerows. These mystical souls straddled the boundary between civilization and the wild unknown. Their practices were woven into the fabric of everyday life, transforming mundane acts into magical rituals. Brewing tea, sweeping the floor, gathering herbs—all infused with intention. The hedge witch danced with the unseen, her feet touching both realms.

Herbalism and Healing

Plants became her allies, their leaves and roots holding secrets. She studied their properties, learned their whispers, and harnessed their healing energies. Herbal magic flowed through her veins like sap in ancient trees. Potions, tinctures, and teas—these were her tools. With each brew, she wove spells of restoration. For the hedge witch, healing was not merely physical; it extended to emotional and spiritual realms. She tended to wound unseen, stitching together fractured souls.

Relational Trauma and the Hedge

The Echoes of Hurt

Relational trauma leaves scars etched deep within. Betrayal, abandonment, shattered trust—the hedge witch knows these wounds intimately. She recognizes the echoes of hurt in the eyes of those who seek her solace. Perhaps they were scarred by love gone awry, by bonds severed too soon. The hedge becomes a sanctuary—a space where pain can be whispered to the rustling leaves.

Herbs as Allies

The hedge witch gathers herbs with purpose. Each plant holds a story—a remedy for heartache, a balm for fractured connections. She grows chamomile for soothing, lavender for restoration, and rosemary for remembrance. In her cauldron, she blends mugwort to traverse dreams, valerian to calm racing hearts, and calendula to mend broken trust. These herbs are not mere ingredients; they are companions on the journey toward healing.

Sacred Space

The hedge witch’s home is her temple. Within its walls, she weaves spells of safety. The hearth crackles with warmth, and the kitchen pulses with magic. Here, she brews teas that mend fractured souls. The very act of stirring a potion becomes a prayer. And when the wounded arrive, she opens her arms—offering not just herbs but also a listening heart. The hedge becomes a threshold—a place where vulnerability is honored.

The Alchemy of Transformation

From Trauma to Resilience

The hedge witch knows that healing is alchemical. She witnesses the transformation of pain into resilience. Her hands cradle fragile hearts, weaving threads of hope. She teaches them to grow their herbs, to tend to their inner gardens. Through trial and error, they discover their unique brews—potions for courage, and elixirs for forgiveness. The hedge becomes a crossroads—a place where wounds become wisdom.

The Dance of Connection

In the dance of seasons, the hedge witch finds solace. She celebrates the cycles—the budding spring, the fruitful summer, the introspective winter. And as she tends her herbs, she tends her own heart. She knows that healing is not linear; it spirals like ivy on ancient stones. The hedge becomes a bridge—a passage from brokenness to wholeness.

To those who carry relational trauma, consider the hedge witch’s wisdom. Step beyond the hedgerow, gather your herbs, and brew your healing. Let the wild and the known intertwine. For in the alchemy of hedge witchcraft, wounds become wings, and the heart reclaims its magic.

If you need immediate support, consider reaching out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates

Remember, dear soul, you are both healer and healed.

Blessed Be, Kirsten

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Source(s) 10 Common Patterns Seen in Unresolved Relational Trauma Abuse, trauma, and Mental Health | Office on Women’s Health Post-Traumatic Relationship Disorder: 15 Signs – Psych Central Relationship Trauma: Signs, Causes, How to Heal – Verywell Health 6 Reasons Why We Stay in Bad Relationships | Psychology Today Trauma and women: Untangling the complex emotional and physical … 7 Reasons Why Some People Stay in Unhappy Relationships The Scientific Reason So Many Women Stay In Emotionally … – YourTango Emotional Abuse: What It Is and Signs to Watch For – Healthline Emotional abuse: The short- and long-term effects – Medical News Today Signs of Emotional Abuse – BHSCP Mental Abuse: Signs, Effects, and Coping Strategies – Verywell Mind 21 Signs of Emotional Abuse in Relationships – Psych Central Relational Healing for Relational Trauma: Is there anything new the … Exploring Hedge Witch Traditions – Witchcraft Chronicles What is a Hedge Witch? Understanding This Unique Witchcraft Tradition What Is a Hedge Witch? Practices and Beliefs – Learn Religions Relational Trauma Recovery: 16 Insights for Your Healing What Is Hedge Witchery? Hedgecraft Explained – Witchcraft Chronicles What Is A Hedge Witch? – wiccanwitchcraftblog.com How To Be A Hedge Witch: Solitary Practice, Hedge Jumping, & More